Stu’s Clues: How to Avoid Eating Tide Pods

Stu’s Clues: How to Avoid Eating Tide Pods

I’m here today talk about a very serious issue, eating Tide Pods. After seeing Rob Gronkowski working to raise awareness, I knew I had to chip in as well with some Stu’s Clues. This article is not for the infants or the elderly, as they cannot be helped This if for the teenagers and adults who just can’t resist scarfing down those colorful balls of goo every time they try to get a stain out of their jeans. I get it, they look delicious. They’re just the right size for a snack, and there’s at least 50 of them in that bucket, but it’s just not worth it ladies and gents. A trip to the emergency room or god forbid a funeral is just too large of a cost for a soapy, chemically infused appetizer. Luckily, I’ve got some Stu’s Clues that can be taken to reduce your risk of consumption.

Stu’s Clues

  1. Don’t do laundry when you’re hungry. It sounds simple, but believe me it can make a huge difference. I recommend eating roughly 15-30 minutes before starting a load.
  2. Keep the pods in their bucket. A rogue pod left on the kitchen can be ‘oh so’ tempting as a   after a full plate of lasagna. Keep the pods safely in their bucket and out of your eye-line to avoid temptation.
  3. Avoid watching Youtube videos of pod eaters. Those jolly teenagers will make it look ‘oh so’ fun to scarf some suds, but trust me what you’re not seeing is the stomach pain and hospital bills.
  4. Consider buying traditional liquid containers. If you can’t live with the temptation you might have to go old school and buy the boring jugs. Obviously, this is a measure that should only be taken in the most dire of circumstances.
  5. Join Pod Eaters Anonymous. If you can’t get over your addiction to detergent by yourself, don’t hesitate to reach out to others who share your pain. The support of fellow pod eaters is often times instrumental to overcoming the cravings and living a normal life.

Other household items to avoid eating:

Pod eaters are susceptible to eating other household items. Here are a few to watch out for:

  • Melted Candle Wax- Just because it smells like peppermint doesn’t mean it tastes like peppermint.
  • Bowls of Baking Soda – It’s tricky because it has baking in the name.
  • Poo-Pourri- It can be a tempting snack when your stuck in the john, but don’t give in to the temptation.
  • Bengay- Just because it heats up your muscles and joints does not mean it can be used to add some kick to your famous fried chicken.
  • Crayons- Crayons have been tricking people into taking a bite for years, but despite their alluring colors and delicious names they provide little to no nutritional value.

21 Replies to “Stu’s Clues: How to Avoid Eating Tide Pods

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  5. Hi Stu,

    We are all very fortunate that pod pioneers like yourself and Rob are bringing awareness to what I think is a national issue. I myself am recovering from pod addiction and see a lot of validity in your tips. In fact, in Pod Eaters Anonymous we are encouraged to buy liquid containers, as you mention in point 4.

    My question is this: how can the everyday individual continue to bring awareness to this issue without facing shame or ridicule in one’s community? I have attempted to be vocal about Pod Addiction with close friends and family and they all seem to laugh and give me strange looks.

    Thanks,
    A Pod Pal

    1. When you say pod pioneers, do you mean laundry Pods or Podcast?

      Did I just find the root of the Tide Pod epidemic? Do people accidentally ingest tide pods instead of injecting podcasts into their brain ? is this what happens when the Vic and Stu podcast isn’t going on?

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